11 Reasons Why Women Lose Their Libido

Hi #GYNEGirls! It’s me Dr. Drai. Let me break down the word LIBIDO for you. Ladies, libido means sexual desire. Women having decreased libido is one of the most common complaints I hear in the office especially for those stressed out supermoms. TRUST me… You are NOT alone ladies. It is estimated that more than 40% of women experience some sort of sexual dysfunction in this lifetime. Female sexual dysfunction includes problems with desire, arousal, orgasms, and sexual pain that causes significant distress in your life. More specifically decreased libido is when you don’t want to engage in any type of sexual activity, including masturbation and you don’t want to have sexual thoughts or fantasies. Sounds like someone you know? Let’s review some reasons why you may not want to have sex with your significant other.

1. Bad relationship. Fighting with your partner is the quickest way to not wanting to have sex. When you are angry or hurt, sex is the last thing on your mind. Fix your relationship; go to couples’ therapy.
2. Stress. Stress caused by being a supermom, financial problems, worried about your career, worried about getting married or getting pregnant can cause decreased libido. Stress can also lead to you being fatigued, which worsens this problem. Find ways to chill out ladies; Dr. Drai meditates DAILY.
3. Alcohol & Smoking. Both of these drugs have been shown to decrease sexual desire AND satisfaction. Alcohol in moderation is okay. When you binge drink, sexual dysfunction starts to occur. Sorry… Any amount of smoking is not good. Just QUIT! Easier said than done RIGHT. You have to know why you are smoking. Substitute that “WHY” with something else. For example, if you smoke because you are bored, instead of lighting up GO to the gym.
4. Mental Illness. Mental conditions such as depression and anxiety can also cause no interest in sex. Talk to your doctor; get treated. Sometimes medication treatment for these conditions can cause sex drive issues as well. Let me reiterate this. You must get treated.
5. Birth Control. Hormonal birth control stops your ovaries from working. It has been shown to decrease testosterone in your body. For women, testosterone is made in the ovaries. FYI Testosterone makes you horny. Other medications such as anti-depressants, anti-seizure meds, opioids, medical marijuana, antihistamines, and hypertensive medications can also decrease your sexual desire. Talk to your DOC about switching your medications. Your healthcare provider can also change your birth control to non-hormonal types like the Paraguard IUD.
6. Trauma in your past. Negative sexual experiences in the past can cause issues with decreased libido. Women who were raped or have been in domestic violence situations may have issues here. Going to therapy to work through your pain can help.
7. Poor Body Image. In a world full of fake butts and boobs it isn’t hard to image women struggling with their body image. Not thinking you are sexy enough can cause a low sex drive. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it… in a healthy way of course. Eat clean, drink water, and exercise. You may have to go to therapy to work through this.
8. Medical Conditions. Medical illnesses such as diabetes, hypertension, thyroid disease, congestive heart failure, or cancer can affect libido. They can alter hormones important. Proper treatment of the disease can improve your sex drive.
9. Pregnancy & Breastfeeding. Hormones fluctuate during pregnancy and breastfeeding, which can decrease your sex drive. Being pregnant can cause you to be tired AND not feel sexy, which doesn’t help. Focus on intimacy. When you have the baby, get help. Let those grandparents do their jobs- BABYSIT LOL!
10. Low Testosterone. This one is a NO BRAINER. Having Low Testosterone (T) can cause low sex drive in theory. This is still being debated in the medical literature regarding treatment of women with low sex drive with T. FYI Testosterone makes you horny.
11. Aging. In menopause, estrogen levels drop drastically because the ovaries aren’t working anymore. Low estrogen causes among other things dry vagina, which makes sex painful. This can lead to decreased sexual desire. Arthritis in the aging population can make having sex less fun. Use lubricants and vaginal estrogen.

Remember women having decreased libido is one of the most common complaints I hear in the office especially for those stressed out supermoms. Once again… You are NOT alone ladies. Talk to your doctor. For a copy of my latest book “20 Things You May Not Know About The Penis” go to https://drdrai.com/product/book.

Until next time… it’s Dr. Drai.



Dr. Draion M. Burch, DO (Dr. Drai) – a highly respected, board-certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist – is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, consultant, and go-to media expert on women’s health and transgender health issues. He travels the country to meet with women one-on-one and in groups to provide and instruct on healthcare. Although Dr. Drai may be requested to spread his medical expertise to all four corners of the U.S., he always makes time to genuinely help those in need. As a pragmatic physician who offers endless charisma, high energy, and a larger-than-life personality, his “bedside manner” makes it obvious why his patients have named Dr. Drai “America’s OBGYN.” Dr. Drai is the founder and chief medical advisor of DrDrai.com, where he discusses actionable ideas and real-world strategies to help women take control of their health. As an openly gay gynecologist he has patients flocking to him and his website for not only his medical expertise, but because of the security they feel in the way he cares for, relates to, and teaches women about subjects ranging from embarrassing vaginal care to serious sexual assault. His mission: Real medical advice, simplified. Dr. Drai takes his unique brand to the camera on his YouTube channel to spill his popular “Medical T” (TIPS) helping his self-titled #Preggos, #GYNEGirls and #GENTs pursue a healthier life. Dr. Drai’s on-point advice on off-the-wall questions about sexual health issues has many calling him a “sexpert.” Dr. Drai earned his Doctorate of Osteopathic Medicine degree from The Ohio University and completed his internship and residency at Michigan State University.


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