Sex After Childbirth: 8 Things Every Couple Needs To Know

By Dr. Drai
By Dr. Drai

This one is for the #Preggos. Congratulations on your new bambino. Labor & THE DELIVERY wasn’t THAT bad, right? Isn’t IT amazing? Having a baby changes your perspective on life immediately RIGHT after you hear that first cry… So now it’s time to get back to your NEW NORMAL- knockin’ the boots. The act of having SEX is not even on your mind right now. You are trying to manage to feed the kid every 3 hours, changing poopy and wet diapers, maintaining your self (because family members are constantly coming over to see the baby)- taking a shower & combing your hair, and getting some much-needed nap time in between. Plus added leaky boobs, belly fat, and a fussy baby ALL make have sex after childbirth challenging to say the least. As a board-certified OBGYN, I give my patients the OKAY to have sexual intercourse- vaginally- 6 weeks after delivery. I may ask them to wait longer depending on if their vaginal tears have healed or if they are still having postpartum vaginal discharge. Ladies, you have to follow up with your doctor or midwife so we can do a pelvic exam to clear you. If you have sex BEFORE it’s time, you may rip your stitches or put yourself at risk of infection. One more thing- just because you had a C-section doesn’t give you the okay to jump in the sack without your DOC’s permission. A C-section is a major surgery; your body needs time to heal from that too.

Here are 8 things that every couple needs to know about #SEXAfterTheBaby.

1. Your breasts will leak. Whether your partner is caressing them or you are having an orgasm- milk will “let down”. If you are breastfeeding, sometimes you may not want your breasts to be touched- your baby has been sucking on them and they can be tender. PUMP to make the breasts less tender. Also, wear a tight bra during sex.
2. Sex is painful. Estrogen levels DROP after having a baby meaning your vagina will be DRY making sex hurt. Breastfeeding can cause this to happen as well. Use LUBE of course. Remember BREAST is best.
3. It doesn’t feel right. I get it- The vagina is a little loose (in your head). Do your Kegel’s. Or even better use BEN-Wa balls. These balls are weighted, you have to use your muscles in the vagina to hold them in. Buy the ones with the string attached to them. This way you can increase resistance by tugging on them.
4. Stop being SOOO Self- conscious. You had a baby. Of course, your body changed. Start exercising with your partner in order to get that body back in shape. Don’t forget about healthy eating.
5. Use birth control. Don’t risk getting pregnant during your postpartum period. I have seen this one TOO many times. Stay away from hormonal forms of birth control. Artificial hormones can decrease your sex drive.
6. Find the time. At least once a week go on a date night (WITHOUT THE BABY) with your partner. Enlist all of those family members that have been coming over to visit for HELP. Build that intimacy back.
7. Get some rest. Altered sleep patterns (which are very common for new moms) can dampen your sex drive. Hire the NEW grandmother to care for the kid. Fatigue is REAL!
8. Hormones don’t make your horny. Your libido will decrease because of those hormones. FOREplay is a must. No worries everything will come back after you start having regular monthly periods.

Happy SEXin’. For a copy of my latest book “20 Things You May Not Know About The Penis” go to

Until next time… it’s Dr. Drai.

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