How to Talk to Your Husband About Sex

By Dr. Drai
By Dr. Drai

Hello #GYNEGirls it’s Dr. Drai again…. Are you married?  If so, there is a lot that you and your hubby probably discuss throughout the day.  Your conversation topics may cover work, family, and the bills.  What about sex?  Do you and your husband talk about sex?  If not, it may be something that you need to discuss with him.  One of the biggest signs that a conversation is needed is if you are currently unhappy in the bedroom.  As much as you may want to talk to your husband about making improvements in the bedroom, you may be curious as to whether or not it is really a good idea.

So, is it a good idea to talk to your husband about sex?  Yes, it is and it is something that you two should discuss.  In fact, an open line of communication is important for all relationships to succeed.  Poor communication is often the downfall of many marriages.  A lack of communication or poor communication may have a negative effect on your whole relationship, not just your sex life.  As a partner in this relationship, it is your responsibility to talk to your husband and to keep an open line of communication.  If you don’t, you may end up putting your happiness and your marriage on the line.  Do not let this happen to you.

As for the talk itself, it is important that you proceed with caution.  Do not criticize your husband or make them feel inadequate.  If there is one thing that men take pride in, it is their ability to have sex and please their partners.  Unfortunately, that pleasure may not be enough for you.  Yes, you want to bring this to the attention of your husband, but do so gently.  Outright telling your husband that he isn’t fulfilling your needs is likely to create even more problems in your relationship.  Instead, gently approach the subject. You may want to start by casually making a suggestion, such as a new position.

Next, it is important to listen to what your husband has to say.  This is important as your communication should not be one sided.  When talking to your husband about intimacy say what you have to say, but then let them speak his mind.

Why it is so important to listen to what your husband has to say concerning intimacy?  For starters, as previously stated, a happy and healthy relationship must involve communication from other parties, not just one sided conversations.  It is also important to note that their may be a good reason why your husband may not be performing up to your standards in the bedroom.  Are they experiencing uncertainty due to an increase in age, a weight gain, or another change in physical appearance?  What about medical problems?  Did you know that some medical conditions, such as depression, and some medicines can lead to a decrease in the want or need for intimacy?

Even with the above-mentioned tips, you may still be unsure as to how you should talk to your husband about sex.  You may be feeling this way if you are worried about the consequences or hurting his feelings.  This is completely natural, but do know that you do have another option. Consider giving a gift or performing a gesture that may lead to the topic of intimacy being discussed.  Whether you plan a spontaneous romantic dinner, purchase a romantic or pornographic movie, or buy something sexy for your husband to wear, a gift may help to get a new conversation started.

As previously stated, talking to your husband about sex and intimacy may be hard for you.  With that said, it is important that you do have the talk.  Not only is an open line of communication important for intimacy, but it is also important for a healthy relationship in general.  As reminder, don’t just talk to your husband about sex, but be sure to listen to what he has to say as well. For a FREE copy of my latest book “20 Things You May Not Know About The Vagina” go to Until next time… it’s Dr. Drai.


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